3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
