dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize