Are we in a gay sports bar?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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