i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
