u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
