The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
