They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
