there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
