shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
