Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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