Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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