can u get pink eye on your cock?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
