im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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