You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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