I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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