No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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