i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they're like a gay fantastic four
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
