come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
