is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
