im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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