i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
