Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
