oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize