Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
