if i can run in heels then i can drive
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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