I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
