69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish you could order shots online.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize