you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's the barista slut.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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