only you would photoshop your dick
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
