I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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