I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
