if i died would you start the facebook group?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
