walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize