Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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