I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
