Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
