Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
