Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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