How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
