I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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