Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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