Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
