Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize