there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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