What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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