Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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