She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
