i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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