i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
