honey bunches of taint.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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