i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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