I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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