We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think people are normalizing furries
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.