I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.