this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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