Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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