Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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