Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
