babies were throwing up all over the place
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
