It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
