she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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