So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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