I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
