I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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